Falling From Grace

You make me satisfied
You only want to ride
But that's alright by me
We happen to be free
For what tomorrow brings
No peace and broken wings
It may have been so good
But now it's understood
'Twas just a night

If I could tear my heart
And keep it miles apart
From love of beast or man
And never give a damn
If I could learn to lie
And never show my pride
I'd be just like the rest
Be someone I detest

I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun to shine

Love...
Destroys the best of us
Then leaves the rest of us
Thinking perhaps we'll die
Yet still we stay alive
Lost in a hollow frame
With lonely tears remain
Not knowing our life's worth
Dragging around the earth
How false the light

You make me satisfied
You only want to ride
But that's alright by me
We happen to be free
And if we fall from grace
At least we had a taste
Of something more than this
Unresolved black abyss

I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun
I'm only looking for the sun to shine

What It Means To Be EMO

Man, the credit goes to Urban Dictionary (when does it ever not, well maybe Wiki sometimes) and Jon for finding this.

All the parts that make me laugh so hard that my stomach is convulsing are italicized.

Definition 1:
1. Over-emotional, shaven-head, adult child, frequently seen with decorative lunchbox, backpack and/or skateboard. Wants the whole world to understand his pain.

Definition 2:
Punk music on estrogen

Definition 3:
An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:

1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)

Definition 4:
Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.

Hypothetical Emo Conversation:
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: omg my gf just left me
acidburnedsoul: that sux man
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: i blame myself only i'm such an ass *cries*
acidburnedsoul: dude come over to my house and we can cut ourselves together
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: okay *cries*
acidburnedsoul: omg dashboard confessional has a new cd, i preordered it already
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude they're my favorite band to self-mutilate to
acidburnedsoul: i prefer to cut myself while watching Napoleon Dynamite on my bigscreen
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude that movie is so deep. i cry every time i see it
acidburnedsoul: me too. i hate myself
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: yeah we're such tortured souls, nobody understands how hard life is for us
acidburnedsoul: yeah we got it tough dude. pass the tissues

Theory of Relativity between Emo and Goth:
If scenes were soda, Emo could be Diet Goth.

Emo: I'm so sad. I'm going to cut myself.
Goth: I'm nothing. I'm going to cut everyone.

How to Identify an Emo: See Above

And Finally...Here's a Video if you're still confused about being "Emo"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC1DA9A27ms


Warning: The above information was not intended to offend, single out, or belittle the existence of any particular group of people.

I'm sorry if this offends you. For what it's worth, I like the Emo culture and I think we all have a little emo inside us. But the best thing about this is that we all learn to laugh at ourselves. If anyone finds a collection of information about Asian girls who try to be white...then feel free to post it and let me know.

I'll Get Mine

Dearest Master of the Universe,

I think that perhaps when you were going through your daily/weekly/monthly tasks, you might've missed or lost my file. Cause the way I always thought you coordinated this business called life, is by looking through everyone's files and every period your assistants file them in the different to do folders. They're probably labeled: "shit happens," "good things," "stagnant," "learning a lesson," "karmic retribution," etc etc. Now I'm sure you have your own allocations and labeling system so I'll spare you the possibilities that I'm dreaming up of. My point is that you might have either missed my file altoghether, or one of your assistants forgot to move me from "learning a lesson" to "good things," or maybe even accidentally shifted my file from "learning a lesson" to "shit happens." Anyway, please have your tech crew address this small glitch and I would really appreciate it. OH and if the "good things" pile is too full this month, feel free to put me in "karmic retribution" or "stagnant" temporarily, but eventually I would like to land in "good things." Much thanks and do take care...of me...

Faithfully yours,
Mix

Honestly...What the Hell...

Rage over MySpace photo leads to arrest

A 22-year-old woman was arrested after authorities say she tried to hire someone to kill another woman whose photo appeared on her boyfriend's MySpace.com Web page.

Heather Michelle Kane was booked Tuesday for investigation of conspiracy to commit murder, Mesa Detective Jerry Gissel said.

She was arrested after she met an undercover Mesa police detective at a grocery store, gave the officer $400 and offered to pay an additional $100 once the woman had been killed, according to court records.

The records say Kane gave the undercover officer photographs taken from her boyfriend's social networking Web page of the woman she wanted killed. She also requested a photo of the woman's dead body.

It wasn't clear if the boyfriend and the targeted woman were romantically involved, Gissel said.

You'd think after reading this that it's an article out of the onion...but sadly no. It's true and the source is Yahoo News. What a terrifying world we do live in. And by terrifying, I mean stupid and meaningless.

How to Dissuade Yourself from Becoming a Blogger

You gotta love these daily "how tos" from google.

What a buzz all the bloggers are making these days! It seems like just about everybody is pouring their musings into a text box. Are you feeling tempted to start a blog of your own? Here are some ways to bypass the trend.

Steps

1. Find five completely random blogs, and read them daily for a month. After thirty days, you will absolutely dread your self-imposed requirement to read all that dreck. Any blog you create will most likely be on par with what you've been reading. Don't put anyone through that.
2. Consider that your voice, even if it is truly a good one, is a tiny peep against the massive wave of tripe out there. The odds of anyone you don't already know finding your blog are low.
3. Write on a regular basis in Wordpad instead. If that doesn't satisfy your urge, and you feel that you must post your blog online, then you might just be craving attention and validation--which you'll never truly find in a blog. If you give up on your Wordpad journal after about three days, you'll do the same with a blog that just takes up server space.
4. Ask yourself if you really have the time to commit to a blog. What about that treehouse you wanted to build? Or the book you wanted to write? Or the car you wanted to fix up? Or the restaurant you wanted to take your wife to? Or the new career you wanted to pursue? Instead of writing about pretty much nothing, or whining about all the things you wish you were doing instead, start doing something that'd actually be worth writing about. And if it's really worth writing about, you'll be having too much fun doing it to tear yourself away from it.

Tips

• If attention and validation is what you're looking for, know that you will get neither from blogging. As above, very few people will ever know that your blog (or you, by proxy) exists. Of those who do find it, a large percentage will be flamers and trolls, who will only post comments to you about how you suck. The remainder of comments posted to your blog will be sappy treacle, which you won't trust as being sincere anyway.
• Consider writing on a wiki instead. Unlike most blogs, wikis like Wikipedia and wikiHow are read by millions of people each month. Several wikiHow authors receive "fan mail" messages every day from appreciative readers. In addition, many authors discover that they enjoy the wiki collaborative writing process more than writing in solitude.

Warnings

• The information you post on the Internet is likely to linger for years and years to come, as web pages are archived by "snapshot" services like the Wayback Machine. Once it's out there, you can't take it back. An employer running a Google search on your name years down the line might be turned off by your now documented obsession with your cat.

Mean is the New Nice

Have been feeling very evil lately. That can only mean one thing...I am PMSing. Please avoid contact with me for one week unless you would like to suffer the wrath. And no I refuse to purchase midol, I don't want to abuse Western medicine. I mean what if I REALLY have cramps or a headache one day and I've been popping Midols or Advils whenever my head just "slightly" hurts...I don't want my body to get used to drugs. That came out wrong...or did it...*trying to conjure up my best "up to no good" look* However for those of you who know me, I probably look like I have a weird twitch, whatever, I'll settle for different.

My parents brought one of their church friends, a financial planner from MetLife, over to talk to me a little about "planning ahead" tonight. And I gotta say, even despite my horrible mood swings, I was impressed. I thought when he first started talking that he was going to tell me all about how to get the most out off my 401K and Life insurance by putting a gazillion dollars in now and watching it grow while being poor...then when I'm 65 I'll REALLY be able to spend it. Spend it on what...a new hip? However, he advocated more of a balanced approach. Really saving up for the future is just a trade off between watching your life go to waste now because you're too busy looking ahead or living it up now and really not living in the future. To me this translates to "live with your parents now or live with them sometime in the future." But there's always a balance, and I'm gonna freaking find it. I'm gonna be the MOST "well prepared for the future yet still partying in the now" individual ever. Never let the scale tip.

Anyway everything was good until he got to talking about marriage and how the most important component of any holy matriomony should be a guy who has life insurance. WHAT EVERY GIRL WANTS. I mean if you rationally think about it, yes it's important, you could really get screwed if your man decided to die on you (or worse be in a vegetative state where you still have to pay millions of dollars for him to just stare off into space, do vegetables stare?) and leave you with four kids. OH HOW DID HE KNOW WHAT MY DREAM LIFE WOULD BE, I've always wanted to be tied down by a family both financially and emotionally. Boy those Metlife people sure are good at picking out my wildest fantasies. All in all, I give him an 8 for his advice. The marriage thing might have been a little conventional, provided that I decide to take the conventional route...But I really can't see myself depending on anyone for that kind of financial aid, or revolving my finances around my family. They can take care of themselves right? I mean look at Pebbles, all I gotta do is buy her litter and she knows just where to go...except when it thunderstorms. Then she just has a shitfest everywhere...but only reserved for those rainy days when the lights go out.

So then I got to thinking about family because apparently if I'm gonna start putting lots of money in my 401k and life insurance, most likely the people who are going to be able to actually spend and enjoy my later accumulated wealth will be my parents (if they outlive me), my potential family, or charity. God I would hate to have to give up monthly allowances NOW in order to save it all up later for some ungrateful brats who will most likely want to be rid of me. Because that's what I am now, an ungrateful brat who wants my freedom. And my parents probably won't get a penny of my money, because it's not likely that the timing would work out unless somehow I died prematurely...which I doubt will be such a gain on their part. It's almost as if I have no family gene in me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to have a child, to see what the whole "mother thing" is all about. Or to be married and see what it's like to have a devoted husband who would hopefully adore me. But there's just seems to be a whole element missing there. The institution of marriage in this day and age is a sham anyway, yet people waste so much time in banning gay marriage...if anything the gay couples that I know have had some of the most functional relationships I have seen yet.

GETTING back to the point, I will probably start putting aside some of my money away because the way that guy explained it, you'd almost have to be an idiot to not. I can always change the beneficiary/trust/charity facts later...and who knows I may even update it on a whim by whim basis. So now when I say "you're off my list," that brings on a whole new meaning my friends.

That's enough rambling for now.

On a completely irrelevant note, I will be purchasing an mp3 player and digital camera soon...because all my technology decided to fail me all at once. Any suggestions might get you brownie points. Bwahahaha...really not so funny.

Eloisa to Abelard

Excerpt:

" How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day."

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, You chase the promise of her glow.

What a swell idea. Visit http://www.lacunainc.com/testimonials.html for more information.

Dichotomy

Pride can stand a thousand trials,
the strong will never fall
But watching stars without you,
my soul cried ~ Des'ree

My motto in life is moderation, it's about finding the right balance. But sometimes it feels like I'm just constantly torturing myself, never strongly embracing anything. What that must feel like, to lose your head. I suppose I'll go ask Knarles Barkley.

" If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. " ~ Bell Jar

24

Cleaning break #2...things cleaned: 0 breaks: 10000004323423042358945234098230948234

Been given 24 hours
to tie up loose ends
to make amends
His eyes said it all
I started to fall
and the silence deafened
Head spinning round
no time to sit down
just wanted to
run and run and run
Be careful they say
don't wish life away,
now I've one day
I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time

In 24 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

Is there a heaven a hell
and will I come back
who can tell
Now I can see
what matters to me
it's as clear as crystal
The places I've been
the people I've seen
plans that I made
start to fade
The sun's setting gold
thought I would grow old,
it wasn't to be

I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time

In 18 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

13 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
Please do it for me

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it

I can't believe
How much I've wasted my time

In just 8 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

In just 1 hour they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

Laughing City

Cleaning break!


Follow me down to the laughing city
when people changing all their minds
it's crazy
i want this ma'am, that ma'am, no sir
yes ma'am, that sir
well i'll tell you one thing, if you're keeping something

then hold on, hold on to the ones you love
hold on, hold on to the ones you love

let's not fight, that is not nice (that is where you'll find me)
let's not be sore, that is not right (that is where you'll find me)

come home late, i know you're sick of working
you're feeling down because your head is hurting
so we don't talk
oh no oh no

you didn't hold on, hold on to the ones you love
hold on, hold on to the ones you love

let's not fight, that is not nice (that is where you'll find me)
let's not be sore, that is not right (that is where you'll find me)

Ok back to the grind. Poooooooooo