A Brief Shining Moment...

And blackness enshrouds again.


This is how you kill hope. And believe me, there is nothing more necessary at this moment in time.

The Many Colors of Fall

Tree Tops

when i was a young girl
trying to find her way above the tree tops, the tree tops, the tree tops
when i was a young girl
trying to find her way above the tree tops, the tree tops, the tree tops
i did not care, i did not care
what they called me, what they called me

i'll float above the ocean
the sun above is burning my head
i will grow wings and fly everywhere

when i was a young girl
trying to find her way above the tree tops, the tree tops, the tree tops
i did not care, i did not care
what they called me, what they called me
no, i did not care, i should not care
what they called me, what they called me

i'll float above the ocean
the sun above is burning my head
i will grow wings and fly everywhere

butter warm clouds are dripping into my mouth
tasting of golden

i'll float above the ocean
the sun above is burning my head
i will grow wings and fly everywhere

i'll float above the ocean
the sun above is burning my head
i will grow wings and fly everywhere

Eisley

The Origin of Love

When the earth was still flat, and the clouds made of fire
And mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher
Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs
They had two sets of arms, two sets of legs
They had two faces peering out of one giant head
And they could watch all around them
And they talked while they read
And they never knew nothing of love
It was before the origin of love
Origin of love

And there were three sexes then
One that looked like two men glued back to back
Called the children of the sun
And similar in shape and girth were the children of the earth
They looked like two girls rolled up in one
And the children of the moon were like a fork shoved on a spoon
They were part sun, part earth, part daughter, part son
Origin of love

Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance
And Thor said:
"I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer
Like I killed the giants."
And Zeus said:
"No, you better let me use my lightning, like scissors
Like I cut the legs off whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh, said:
"I'll split them right down to the middle
Gonna rip them right in half."
And then storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire

And the fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining blades of a knife
And it ripped right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon, and the earth
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole
Pulled it 'round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane
To scatter us away
In a flood of wind and rain
And a sea of tidal waves
To wash us all away
And if we dont behave
They'll cut us down again
And well be hopping round on one foot
Looking through one eye

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two
You were looking at me, and I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
But I could not recognize
'Cause you had blood on your face
And I had blood in my eyes
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the pain down in mine
That's the pain
Cuts a straight line down through the heart
We call it love
So we wrapped our arms around each other
Trying to shove ourselves back together
We were making love
It was a cold dark evening such a long time ago
When by the mighty hand of Jove
It was the sad story
How we became lonely two-legged creatures
It's the story of
The origin of love
That's the origin of love, origin of love, origin of love

Tenuous

A single moment, before the call that drew you to the sea
A single fragment of a loss that's buried deep in memory

In stillness, no comfort
In silence, awash in fervent dreams
In stillness, I see you
Returning back to me

A shrouded echo. Resounding waves that fall upon the shore
I feel you moving to a place where I will see you nevermore

Sleep Thief

Quick Recap at 23

Definitely a year wiser. It's an ok stage in life. Stable income, good friends, loving family, cats galore, healthy, relatively attractive. Not a total train wreck. Life could be better, but then life could be worse.

It's all very bearable.

Did really think I could pass for Jem...
Or was I trying to be another slutty anime character...

Then there were moments that were like a dream. Somewhere between half sleeping and half waking. Maybe I'll arrive there again one day. Or maybe I'll make a new dream, one where I travel to distant lands and meet lots of intriguing people. I already kinda did that the other day when Sara introduced me to her Peruvian friends in White Plains. Ok so it wasn't the same, but it's a start.

Think: Plush

Sensitive to the skin, and pleasant to the eye.


Or just go awwwwwww.

City of Angels

NY, a little rude, a little magical.




It all depends on your perspective really. (Click on each to get a larger view)

I Pledge Allegiance...

At the oath ceremony to become a citizen, I waited for something to come over me. A feeling that says: I am so happy and grateful to be apart of ...

Then I got distracted.

They met there. Made an instant connection. Playing as if no judge were speaking of great truths, no names where being debaucherously mispronounced as people traded in their greencards for certificates, no notions of grandeur and transformations were being impressed upon them. Never paying heed to the "big day."


To tell you the truth, I'm still waiting. The whole process felt kinda numb. Instead I watched the these kids. Sometimes when you don't feel a thing, it could be because you're feeling too much.

Thought overload...must sit down...PLOP...sigh.

Link, this is just so Typical...

And thus a photo blog was born.

Hush Hush

I was going through and deleting my music because really why do I need a list of anally alphabetized folders containing music that I probably outgrow everyday. It takes up space over things that are more space worthy...like pictures I take of myself. HA. Right. Pictures yes, of myself, probably not...a lot.

Then I saw it. I mean I have some pretty old bad music in there...but there was a folder called: Bryan Adams. That's right...I was/am a fan of Bryan Adams. And even as I noticed, I could not bring myself to delete the entire contents of that folder.

The song that remained: Sigh...Bryan Adams and Barbara Streisand: I Finally Found Someone.

In my defense, that was my dad's favorite song and he used to listen to it all the time. Of course now that I mention it to him, he acts like I'm the only one in this family that likes Bryan Adams...Good cover, pop.

Awaiting Transcendence

It's taking a long time.

Because I don't want to go through life with this huge chip on my shoulder. If this metaphorical chip were labeled, it would say bitterness and resentment. While that is often the road taken by many, and what a swift way it can be, I'd rather walk burden free.

Peace I want real peace.

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."

“I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”

~ Dalai Lama

He knows his shit.

Clark Gable

I was waiting for a cross-town train in the london underground
When it struck me that i've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound like a movie so i changed
My plans and rented a camera and a van and then i called you
"i need you to pretend that we are in love again" and you agreed to

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in
The script it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it
The marker snapped and i yelled "quiet on the set"
And then called "action!"
And i kissed you in  a stye that clark gable would have admired
(i thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

Go Getters

The commute to work: About 45 minutes each way. So 2 hours roundtrip.

I get a lot of time to think. I've burned about 10 CDs, each with the same basic core group of songs...just adding a couple of new discoveries along the way. I can't believe I don't get sick of some of these songs...it's like watching life in repeat.

The other day it was raining hard. I like to take the backroads to work because I get to avoid the nasty 202 traffic and the scenery is pleasant. Pastures, cattle, horses, no joke. I see these things on my way to and back from work everyday. Then there are the other not as pleasant views, like roadkill. Squirrels, raccoons, cat (!!!), mostly squirrels. So like I said it was raining hard and I was coming home from work. I approached a bend in the road that's almost as sharp as a turn. I always forget that this bend is there. Or if I remember it, I forget it's as sharp as it actually is. But the roads were slippery that day. The car spun out of control as I tried to make the usual messy last minute curve, and the wheel in my hands became useless. I might as well have been holding a toy steering wheel. Luckily I was able to right myself before almost hitting a tree. And just like that I was back on the road again. Same song still playing.

For a brief moment, I thought about how easy it might have been...a very brief moment. Then I realized that if it were up to me, this would definitely not be the way I want to go down: giving up on life on a rainy day. I haven't even won the Nobel Prize yet...I need more time! But I'll tell you one thing, working life pales in comparison to college. Only because I despise sleeping early.

Dear Marriage Proponent

To the Anonymous blog commentor who was too shy to reveal your actual identity:

My blog entries are never intended to speak for everyone...they are my ideas, my opinions, because it is...afterall, a blog. So I didn't mean to over generalize, it's just that I didn't even realize I was factualizing...

With that said and out of the way, I'd like to clear up what I meant by: "the institution of marriage in this day and age is a sham." I realize that ppl may love each other enough to get married, to want that kind of a formal declaration of their love for each other. However, in this day and age, with the divorce rate sky rocketing, and bachelor parties getting out of control, I think that marriage can be seen by many as an imprisonment. I simply wanted to present another way to look at these socially upheld ideas of marriage and love. If marriage is so great, then why do bachelor's parties have to involve strippers and why do ppl go around bemoaning the fact that they'll only get to sleep with one person for the rest of their lives...People jokingly pat each other on the backs at weddings and make jokes about how unfortunate it is that one will be tied down...well am I lacking a sense of humor or do I just not find these jabs funny. Some say it's the rant of a jealous single person...well who really knows.

I think that most of us like the idea of spending the rest of our lives with someone we cherish. It's just that marriage is a lot of outspoken pressure, if two people already feel that way about each other then why does it even matter? For some reason marriage instills a lot of dread in people, and I'm just trying to say maybe all that pressure is unnecessary if we're all programmed to behave that way already. Sure no one is FORCED into marriage, but don't rule out societal pressure. I mean no teenagers are ever FORCED to do drugs...but if everyone else is doing it...