On the Tight Rope
"It's like, OH, that's where my heart is." Jamie's eyes widened as she tried to give me that knowing look. I nodded, not in agreement, but more so that I had registered her statement.
"Ya know?"
Did I? The meaning came across perfectly. She had rediscovered feeling. Yet while I met her on that comprehension level, the sense of those words rang hollow. So hollow that I found myself mulling them over during four sessions of teethbrushing. Here's some supplementary information, teethbrushing time should be well spent on thinking of comebacks that you could have used during the day, or saving them for future disposal. So understand me when I say that these thoughts were intrusive.
Besides years of psycho-babble and media brainwashing, is there really a benefit to trusting your emotions? More commonly known in the phrase form of "follow your heart." This is a squeamish concept for me because emotions are subjective and lack solid justifications. In other words, I am wary of a society where people are encouraged to be lead astray by intangible forces. Still there are some benefits to trusting your own emotions I'm sure...*Look left* *Look right* *crickets chirping**blank stare*
I guess for the time being, I'll just continue to walk the tight rope? Teetering and rebalancing. That's what everyone does right? Why did I waste valuable time thinking about where my heart was, when I could have been making up puns?
That question was answered on my morning drive to work. Since I take 95, not a day goes by when I don't see some banged up cars on the side of the highway. Today was particularly bad. The roads were jammed, teeming with police officers running (or whatever you call the skipping that they do), and even an ambulance was present. I was fuming about not getting to work early like I had planned...until I saw what else was fuming. As my car took it's sweet time crawling up to the scene of the accident, I had a clear view of what had happened. It was a mess. Giant truck with its head and one wheel dislodged. A badly smashed up SUV. And a little further down, a four door sedan completely flipped over, still emitting smoke. I didn't need a second to realize why the paramedics and police were all frantically running towards the sedan. Someone was trapped in that little car, still alive? Fearing that it was going to explode any minute, I sped up and drove off. The cars behind me shared my sentiments and they followed suit.
After I had passed the scene completely, I turned my CD player back on. As I listened to my emotive mix, I realized what was completely odd: A song could evoke more emotion out of me than witnessing the looming death of a fellow human being. Jamie's words popped up again and the discernment was startling. It wasn't just that my heart was lost, it was that I completely didn't know what my heart was for.
I don't know what's worse: Realizing that modern technology and civilization might be responsible for crippling mankind, or realizing that I might have to wean myself off the Fray.
"Ya know?"
Did I? The meaning came across perfectly. She had rediscovered feeling. Yet while I met her on that comprehension level, the sense of those words rang hollow. So hollow that I found myself mulling them over during four sessions of teethbrushing. Here's some supplementary information, teethbrushing time should be well spent on thinking of comebacks that you could have used during the day, or saving them for future disposal. So understand me when I say that these thoughts were intrusive.
Besides years of psycho-babble and media brainwashing, is there really a benefit to trusting your emotions? More commonly known in the phrase form of "follow your heart." This is a squeamish concept for me because emotions are subjective and lack solid justifications. In other words, I am wary of a society where people are encouraged to be lead astray by intangible forces. Still there are some benefits to trusting your own emotions I'm sure...*Look left* *Look right* *crickets chirping*
I guess for the time being, I'll just continue to walk the tight rope? Teetering and rebalancing. That's what everyone does right? Why did I waste valuable time thinking about where my heart was, when I could have been making up puns?
That question was answered on my morning drive to work. Since I take 95, not a day goes by when I don't see some banged up cars on the side of the highway. Today was particularly bad. The roads were jammed, teeming with police officers running (or whatever you call the skipping that they do), and even an ambulance was present. I was fuming about not getting to work early like I had planned...until I saw what else was fuming. As my car took it's sweet time crawling up to the scene of the accident, I had a clear view of what had happened. It was a mess. Giant truck with its head and one wheel dislodged. A badly smashed up SUV. And a little further down, a four door sedan completely flipped over, still emitting smoke. I didn't need a second to realize why the paramedics and police were all frantically running towards the sedan. Someone was trapped in that little car, still alive? Fearing that it was going to explode any minute, I sped up and drove off. The cars behind me shared my sentiments and they followed suit.
After I had passed the scene completely, I turned my CD player back on. As I listened to my emotive mix, I realized what was completely odd: A song could evoke more emotion out of me than witnessing the looming death of a fellow human being. Jamie's words popped up again and the discernment was startling. It wasn't just that my heart was lost, it was that I completely didn't know what my heart was for.
I don't know what's worse: Realizing that modern technology and civilization might be responsible for crippling mankind, or realizing that I might have to wean myself off the Fray.
posted by Mix at 11:11 AM
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