Dreams don't come true because we don't dream

Every once in a while I am pleasantly reminded of how childlike I still am.

I've been watching James Bond movies and I can't stop thinking about what it might be like to be James Bond or find a best friend like James Bond.

When I am in different settings now, I make sure to scope my environment for escape routes and high elevation climbing potential. You know, in case I have to chase a bomb maker or an international terrorist.

Even when I am running or in gym class, and I start to feel that burning sensation in my muscles which tells me to give up, I think about how much more I still have to train to be like James Bond. It's insane but I feel reborn. Like I have a new reason to do everything that I do now. Nevermind the practicality of this all.

What I really wonder is why, if we have the potential to make movies and write books about awesome characters, aren't there any real awesome people out there. Where are all the buddhist hitmen hiding???

Free-doom

The glass is either half empty or half full.

You either have freedom or you're incredibly lonely and bored.

In the past 2 days, I have experienced painful and bedazzling moments of both. I guess I'll just do a quick categorize:

- INCREDIBLY LONELY AND BORED (AND INEXPLICABLY TIRED): A day that consists of sleeping till noon, staring at the monitor until the words blur into vomit inducing chunks, "napping" some more, then more agonizingly pointless blank stares, until it's finally time for bed

- TOTAL AND UTTER FREEDOM: Getting into that shape you always wanted, in my case it's a straight 1 pt line. Running and hitting the gym has left me sore, but definitely grateful I have the time for it now.

- INCREDIBLY LONELY AND BORED: Being on gmail for more than 6 hours a day. Granted the biggest reason is to check for employer emails but honestly, I don't even like human contact that much.

- INCREDIBLY LONELY AND BORED (AND DESPERATE): Stalking employers and anxiously awaiting phone calls like you that girl who just went on a first date with an awesome guy--- but you also slept with him so you're a little nervous.

- TOTAL AND UTTER FREEDOM: Wow I never thought these would fit in this category but getting errands together. Budgeting, attempting to set up the internet then realizing it would be more cost effective to steal internet, finding a place to trade all your inane trivia and joke books. Etc Etc.

- Unsure if these would be products of freedom or insanity:

- Cleaning the bathroom and inadvertently getting overly worked up that we have to pay for toilet paper. Seriously. Think about it. When did businesses convince us that we had to wipe our asses with toilet paper, AND that we had to pay for it. I could wipe my ass with newspaper if I so wished. Toilet paper, it doesn't make any sense.

- Attending a "Ranger Workout" class at the gym where you had to run in place for 2 minutes and perform cadence calls. The class is designed to mimic a drill camp, the instructor at one point even got in my face and shouted: "What number are we on, I CANT HEAR YOU. I bet you wanna hit me right now doncha." It took everything I had to fight the urge to go: "NO SIR NO." And what are PT Tests?

- Sketching, doodling, blogging, and going insane.

So I guess if anyone ever asked me whether the glass was half full or half empty. I'd say something along the lines of: It's half full when I'm not thirsty at all and half empty when I'm parched.

In the end, I'll be happily insane doing whatever because I believe my biggest job is keeping myself entertained, and that's a job that's not getting outsourced, ever. (It's not about distrust of labor quality as much as I just don't think anyone would want it:)